Today's Bacon and Eggs: April 2010

The ‘Asshole’ Dilemma
It has ~~recently~~ (not so recently) come to my attention that the hetero human females are extremely attracted to ‘the asshole’. Now you may say “Good Sir, how do I spot this ‘asshole’ in the wild?” Well luckily for you I have come up with a handy definition or two: “Someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead and/or 90% of every dude you will ever speak to.” Now for that sake of this discussion, “An obnoxious, arrogant, self-centered douche bag male who women can't seem to get enough of”

Now the following is a short, very short list of way to spot an asshole (There are PLENTY more)

If your boyfriend has more ex-girlfriends than you do pairs of shoes, he is probably an asshole.
If you are on a first date, and he makes you pay because ‘he forgot his wallet’, he is probably an asshole.
If the guy your dating has more muscles, than brains, he is probably an asshole.
If your boyfriend has a fancy sports car (and revs it unnecessarily) and parks sideways in a handicap space, he is probably an asshole.
If your boyfriend asks you to go to the movies and shows up late with another person in the car and makes you sit in the back, he is probably an asshole.
If the guy you’re with hits on your sister, cousin, and/or you mother at the family picnic and then proceeds to question your mother's sexual past, he is probably an asshole.
If you are eating at a fine dining restaurant such as Fazoli’s and your boyfriend goes and get a stack of ‘FREE’ breadsticks and doesn’t give the table any, he’s probably an asshole.
Bonus: You and a guy are supposed to go out on a date and the night of the date you can’t get a hold of him. Three days pass and he magically shows up and tries to explain he tried to get a hold of you, but couldn’t and tries to tell you how sad he is that he didn’t get to see you. Only to find out he was sleeping with another girl the night of your date, he IS an asshole.

It seems as a common problem that girls find these guys irresistible and think the world of these guys. Maybe it’s the fact that they are the centerpiece for conversation at social gatherings. Maybe it’s the fact that these guys are considered the common norm of what a guy is suppose to be like or maybe it’s just the fact that there is a minor malfunction in the female DNA that affects their decision making when it comes to deciding on boyfriends. I don’t know. I understand that girls want a ‘tough’ guy and want that sense of protection, but does that mean you should have to sacrifice respect and ultimately happiness? I hear girls complaining all the time about how every guy they date is an asshole or how he treated her like crap, yet the next boyfriend they date is the same make, different model. So until girls start changing what they are looking for, don’t expect a different outcome…

And that my friends, is today's Bacon and Eggs.....