Wednesday, June 2, 2010

You can't pump your own gas in Oregon or New Jersey....

Yes, If you live in New Jersey or Oregon you are not allowed to pump your own gas at a gas station.
  According to research,the brilliant minds of the New Jersey state legislature decided in 1949 that ..."because of the fire hazards directly associated with dispensing fuel, it is in the public interest that gasoline station operators have the control needed over that activity to ensure compliance with appropriate safety procedures.”
Uh....ok....so when your apply for a job at a gas station do have a certificate that says your awesome and you have the ability to pump gas...professionally.

  Now for your curious little noggin, passed in 1951, Oregon came up with this dandy... “any person other than the owner, operator or employee (of a dispensary where class 1 flammable liquids are dispensed at retail)” from using “pump, hose, pipe or other device for dispensing the liquids into the fuel tank of a motor vehicle or other retail container.” Violating this law would get yourself slapped with a whopping $500 fine.
...$500 fine??? Give me a break.
I've shook my brain to find something similar between the two states.....Italians? Ducks?

I guess in theory its 'safer' to have someone pump your gas due to the increasingly large epidemic of idiots that plague the world today, but it just boggles my mind. I had a lady tell me on a plane ride that Oregon is like super environmental friendly....ok but what does that have to do with somebody else pumping gas? your still driving the car that pollutes the environment..Oh and get this, if your a tourist traveling through these fine states, you have to obey these laws as well...cause they said so..
...My theory.....somebody went insane and made a flamethrower out of a gas pump and just went on a rampage due to the fly that kept buzzing in his ear.
 This guy doesn't live in Oregon or New Jersey..or is he pumping the other fine gentleman's gas for him?
This is Today's Bacon and Eggs

Thursday, May 27, 2010

'The Big Unit'......

During a recent trip to Arizona, I ate at Cooperstown Restaurant....after gazing at the menu for well over 5 minutes. Something caught my eye...
This....
'The Big Unit' Hot Dog.... This monstrosity of a delicacy is 22 inches of Beef on a WHOLE baguette roll, not a bun......
This is what is looked like
 Ridic!...I finished the fries....but I still had about 4 or 5 inches left(thats what she said)
Ozz

Round Abound.....

Darth Vader can now command you through your TomTom GPS

Darth Vader: Behind the Scenes Recording

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Splinter Cell Conviction Review!

What Is It?
Take everything you know about the Splinter Cell series and discard it, insert a nifty, 'Mark and Execute' ability, mix it in with a Gears of War/Rainbow Six Vegas cover system, Assassin Creed-type movement,and a Jason Bourne influenced story and you have Splinter Cell Conviction  

Review
The story of Splinter Cell Conviction is basically simple, Your Sam Fisher and you are no longer part of Third Echelon. The game takes place 3 years after Sarah Fisher( Sam's daughter) has been killed. It starts you off in a marketplace and you are contacted by 'Grim' and that serves as your basic tutorial. As the story progresses, you slowly learn more about Sarah, Grim, and Third Echelon. You also slowly receive new equipment to help you progress through levels, but it isn't until the last third of the game that you have obtained all your equipment and by that time, you really don't need it. The single player serves as a basic 'general' tutorial for the co-op. The gameplay of Conviction has been extremely overhauled from the previous entries and somewhat 'dumbed' down. That isn't to say that is a bad thing. The overhaul reminds me of what Capcom did with Resident Evil 5. It's a nice, fresh change of pace for this franchise. The 'Mark and Execute' ability is one of the best addition to the game. The game is set-up to make you earn your 'Mark and Execute'. You must first pull off an 'execution' or hand-to-hand combat to 'earn' your 'Mark and Execute' and depending on which gun you have and/or how far you have said gun upgraded, will determine how many you can 'Mark'( maximum is 4 per person). The best part of the game is the 'Co-op.' There are several options:
  • Hunter - Clear the map of enemies 
  • Co-op Story- A Prequel Campaign to Convictions Single Player
  • Infiltration - Same as Hunter, but with the condition that detection by enemies automatically results in a mission failure. Must download from UPLAY
  • Last Stand - Protect an EMP warhead from waves of advancing foes
  • Face Off - The sole adversarial mode, with two players going head-to-head with a customizable number of A.I. opponents populating the map. 
You will likely spend the majority of your time running through these modes with a buddy. As previously mentioned, you will be able to upgrade weapons as well as outfits. Within the game there is 3 tiers of Challenges that upon completion reward you with points to upgrade. You are also now able to Interrogate enemies to get information throughout missions. While cool in theory, the results are a let-down and it gets old fairly quick. Also new is your objectives are now appear on the wall,buildings, floor, etc in the real-world. It is a very neat and convenient way to inform the player(s) of their objective without interrupting the gameplay.

Final Verdict
 A fun, yet short single player Campaign and great Co-op make this a must play(rent or buy). It has it's shortcomings and may disappoint fans of the previous entries, but I think with the new overhaul, it is a great foundation for the next installment and definitely worth a run through.
Difficulty: Just Right
Time Spent: 30 to 40 Hours
The Bottom Line: "Worth Playing"
The Good:
-'Mark and Execute' is ridiculously awesome
-Co-op
-New Gameplay mechanics are smooth
-More action


The Bad:
-'Mark and Execute' make it too easy,even on Realistic
-Voice overs sound a bit off a times
-Interrogations are a failed opportunity
-Classic Splinter Cell gameplay is gone
-Super Short Campaign

Grade: B+

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The 'Asshole' Dilemma..

The ‘Asshole’ Dilemma
    It has recently (not so recently) come to my attention that the hetero human females are extremely attracted to ‘the asshole’. Now you may say “Good Sir, how do I spot this ‘asshole’ in the wild?” Well luckily for you I have come up with a handy definition or two: “Someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead and/or 90% of every dude you will ever speak to.” Now for that sake of this discussion, “An obnoxious, arrogant, self-centered douche bag male who women can't seem to get enough of”

    Now the following is a short, very short list of way to spot an asshole (There are PLENTY more)
  • If your boyfriend has more ex-girlfriends than you do pairs of shoes, he is probably an asshole.
  • If you are on a first date, and he makes you pay because ‘he forgot his wallet’, he is probably an asshole.
  • If the guy your dating has more muscles, than brains, he is probably an asshole. 
  • If your boyfriend has a fancy sports car (and revs it unnecessarily) and parks sideways in a handicap space, he is probably an asshole.
  • If your boyfriend asks you to go to the movies and shows up late with another person in the car and makes you sit in the back, he is probably an asshole.
  • If the guy you’re with hits on your sister, cousin, and/or you mother at the family picnic and then proceeds to question your mother's sexual past, he is probably an asshole. 
  • If you are eating at a fine dining restaurant such as Fazoli’s and your boyfriend goes and get a stack of ‘FREE’ breadsticks and doesn’t give the table any, he’s probably an asshole.
  • Bonus: You and a guy are supposed to go out on a date and the night of the date you can’t get a hold of him. Three days pass and he magically shows up and tries to explain he tried to get a hold of you, but couldn’t and tries to tell you how sad he is that he didn’t get to see you. Only to find out he was sleeping with another girl the night of your date, he IS an asshole.
    It seems as a common problem that girls find these guys irresistible and think the world of these guys. Maybe it’s the fact that they are the centerpiece for conversation at social gatherings. Maybe it’s the fact that these guys are considered the common norm of what a guy is suppose to be like or maybe it’s just the fact that there is a minor malfunction in the female DNA that affects their decision making when it comes to deciding on boyfriends. I don’t know.  I understand that girls want a ‘tough’ guy and want that sense of protection, but does that mean you should have to sacrifice respect and ultimately happiness?  I hear girls complaining all the time about how every guy they date is an asshole or how he treated her like crap, yet the next boyfriend they date is the same make, different model. So until girls start changing what they are looking for, don’t expect a different outcome…


And that my friends, is today's Bacon and Eggs.....


Ozz ©

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The original Xbox Live:(2002-2010)...R.I.P

The original Xbox Live dies today......take a moment to mourn your fallen brethren and rejoice at the time you spent pwning n00bs at Halo 2......*gazes at the sky and raises fist* Let us give a moment of silence.....Onward forever onward my dear friends..for it tis but another chapter closed in our epic lives...

                     R.I.P-(2002-2010)

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Clearly Whitney Houston was reborn as a chunky little asian kid.

Whitney Houston's got nothing this kid.....
In other news, this kid allegedly accidentally did coke in the bathroom to achieve this feat...