Thursday, March 25, 2010

5 shockingly evil things about Zach Broyles

Hello!

 This is Zach Broyles...
He was born and raised in Sparta,TN in 1984...
Same year as Mandy Moore and Avril Lavigne...interesting considering Zach likes to consider himself a 'musician',but we all know how that goes.

Anyway, Here's a rundown of 5 shockingly evil things about Zach Broyles you need to know.

1. Zach can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches his nostrils, he'll start talking about the joy of Marxism and how he knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. As you listen to Zach's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice his hand as it goes into your pocket. He is a master thief that has trained in the 'Dojo of the Damned'.

2. Zach Broyles wants nothing less than to insult the intelligence, interests, and life plans of whole groups of people. One is possibly safe from his insults, only if by initiation, Zach manages to lure you into his deceitful entourage.

3.Zach has this idea that there is no such thing as an accident.... He consistently rants to his inferiors that he is innocent and that it happened for a reason.

4.Zach has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which we ought to worship unambitious madmen as folk heroes.

5. Zach feeds on the young especially the blonde and braced. You may have noticed his brief relationship with the 18 year old Maxi Recthorn recently...She was blonde and she had braces. His current 'girlfriend'( I use that term loosely) the lovely,yet extremely exotic Brittany Theopold...is 19,blonde,and has braces.

Please remember that my ultimate goal is to spread the word about Zach Broyles's recalcitrant, inane harangues to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives, our co-workers—even to strangers. If I advance, follow me. If I stop, urge me on. If I retreat, kill me.

No comments:

Post a Comment